And so I am grateful to be at the mercy of the winds of fate.

dilemmas

dilemma

dilemmas

dilemma

We're hitting crunch time. We've exhausted all cash reserves and the longer I go without getting a job, the less likely I'm going to get anything that pays a living wage. Here's what my options are now:

~2 income/Low Wage
~Insurance Sales
~Community College (Navy Money)
~Move into mother's basement
~Website
~Mushroom Farmer
~Wild Card

My goal is to have some property that is self-sustainable and contributes to reducing food and information scarcity. I am not going to reach this goal by playing tag-team parents and try to balance two full, or even full-time for me and part-time for my wife. This would be simply surviving. Insurance Sales seems promising, and it would not be like my last attempt at Insurance Sales (I was a Farmers Agent, but quit to work in the Semiconductor industry). This job would be an in-home sales rep for a company specializing in union workers. No telemarketing. I has a very high income potential that would help me invest in advertising for my website, and retirement program in just 10 years. That would put me well on my way of accomplishing my goals at about the time when my eldest is 16. Not a bad plan, except that I can't help but to have no faith in the future of the FIRE Economy (Financial Industry, Insurance Industry, & Real Estate). These sectors add very little value(goods) but consume huge amounts of resources(Profit). It's not a sustainable industry, but all industries are dead in the long run. There's plenty of reason to dip into that bucket while it lasts, especially when Straits are Dire.

If I can popularize my website then I can draw an income from advertising and E-book sales, but popularizing the website is going to take plenty more time and money. On the long-term it's a great chance to be financially independent, but right now my concerns are short-term. Mushroom farming is an ideal occupation for me, but capital investments make it impossible to startup on the scale needed to be self-sustaining. If I do mushroom farming I want to use only recycled materials, I expect to have issues with reactionary purists over the possibility of some theoretical toxin in paper that will transfer into the fruit. However, using mushrooms to recycle our waste cellulose is a future niche that needs to be exploited.

Then tied into all this decision making is the terrifying knowledge of systemic collapse. It may not happen this year, or even in five years, but I must include it in any long term planning. The knowledge of systemic collapse is a terrible burden. In many ways it has been responsible for my own financial collapse. The mind can not dwell on such terrible things without consequential manifestations appearing on one's own life. Exercising my muse helps me deal with the dread, and has helped me identify that sustainability and free flow of information is my calling. My muse and ego had an understanding that the muse has failed to deliver on. My muse has given me powerful incites into Life the Universe and Everything, but has lead me down a path of deteriorating financial freedom. My muse simply replies that this is the experience needed to reach the next point, but my ego rebels.

I am grateful for my amazing wife who is able to tolerate my risk-taking, even when the stakes are so much higher. I am grateful for my mom for being there for me. I am grateful for my friends that share information with me, and my friends that listen. I am grateful for the Universe giving me all the tools to get out of this situation, even if I haven't learned how to use them yet. I am getting better at using these tools, and eventually this experience will prove to be a huge asset. And so I am grateful to be at the mercy of the winds of fate.

“Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to a divine purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: That we are here for the sake of others...for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day, I realize how much my outer and inner life is built upon the labors of people, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received.” ~Albert Einstein